Aisle Of Wit

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Case #21VESC00033

There was breaking news yesterday morning in the Van Nuys East Courthouse, Department P.  The plaintiff is yours truly.

I used to enjoy The People’s Court, particularly the OG version with Judge Joseph Wapner.  A clever way to turn small claims courts into a game show-like environment, cases like mine agreed to binding arbitration that would be decided by a retired judge.  There was emotional attachment, passionate “contestants”, two closures per half-hour and an “audience” of gallery members looking on stoically as the trial unfolded.  Great television, IMO.  Until my day in court loomed.

I have now appeared twice on this matter, each time getting very emotionally and financially invested in the pursuit of bringing the defendant to court and myself as prepared as possible for what I anticipated would be an interrogation that would make an episode of Perry Mason seem boring.  A courtroom is the perfect venue for Leblanguage, where the specificity of a word or nuance thereof could make or break a case.  I studied with the eagerness of a second year Law student.  On both occasions, including yesterday, current moratoriums prevented the case from even being heard.

I didn’t even get the chance to see the defendant, or his friend who at one time was my friend as well. (they elected to check in via Zoom, and the video feed was not made available to anyone except the judge and those in the front of the courtroom).  I have not mentioned this person in this forum yet because emotions are far too raw to be as disappassionate as Leblanguage would otherwise mandate.  Simply put, I love this person.  The last time I checked the statutes there is no crime in falling in love.  She strongly feels otherwise and is helping to orchestrate an elaborate way to justify what I allege in my testimony to be illegal and, certainly,  wrongful behavior that has cost me thousands of dollars and millions of minutes of emotional anguish.

The breaking news is that the case will be continued on November 1st or later, when it is hoped current moratoriums will be lifted.  The judge did scold the defendant for allowing this woman to talk for him and scolded her for trying to interject herself into the legal process opportuntistically.  For the record, she did absolutely nothing wrong financially.  Her crimes, if any, are poor choices of friends and cruel ways of expressing rejection.  No matter.  The law is the law, and we will wait until late fall at earliest to hopefully have this play out once and for all.

Reality television can be enjoyable.  Reality often is not.  Yesterday was an inconclusive day.  Today is the next day after that.  Tomorrow is unknown.  Case #21VESC00033 will be decided at a later date.  We now return you to your regularly schedule website.

Until next time…